If You Don't Wanna Love Me
by Miss Meggie
Summary: DTBH Leland Fic- Sometimes the bad girl has a good heart
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I do not know Leland Chapman or anyone related with the show or any of the wwe employessor musical artist mentioned ! I mean no harm by anything this is just for fun! I own nothing but my stories and original characters. Enjoy! Please review. -Meghan**

**Meet Layla:**

**I'm Layla Kincaid I have been called many things a star fuck, professional groupie, a real life penny lane. its all true I'm fine with that I like sex I like the power it gives me power I can make even the most well known sex symbols beg for my touch. I didn't start out this way. I started out as a "Girlfriend." **

**Technically he was in a boy band O-town yes the one they put together on TV and yes I was madly in love with the almost effeminate heart throb of the group with the girly name to boot Ashley Parker Angel. (That's his real name poor guy.) Feel free to send hate mail I deserve it.**

**Anyways that has been over for a few years though occasionally we still screw the only reason I ended it was that he knocked up a random groupie. An ugly horse-faced groupie… I was left for horse face… don't think that doesn't burn me up. **

**Anywho, on to how I got into this lifestyle Ashley's manager Larry Rudolph had a thing for me still does but I don't do managers roadies or oldies. He took me to an INXS concert to check out there new lead singer J.D. Fortune who he was to manage.**

**J.D. Is talent gorgeous and a little odd. He is working on his new album I'm setting in the studio waiting for him to finish for the day.**

**J.D or Jason as I call him is far from conventional so the fact that I sleep around doesn't bother him. I've slept many men most rockers some actors. Brandon Flowers is a regular in my bed along with Pete wentz Aaron Winkler and many more. **

**I want someone to love me the way Ashley once did that's all I'm really looking for but I like my life so who ever he may be will have to be special to make me change it.**

**2: possible mistakes**

**mis·take **

**An error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness. **

**A misconception or misunderstanding. **

**I made one that morning by answering my cell...**

**Layla rolled over out of J.D.'s arms to grab her ringing phone. "Kincaid here what the fuck do you want its eight a.m.?" **

**"well hello to you to my sweet Layla." rang out the pretty melodic voice of Trevor penick one of Ashley's fellow ex O-towners.**

**"Sorry babe i thought it was crew I"i've been helping out you know my rules..."**

**"yes never stay with a guy for more than two weeks without having something to do besides fuck him..."**

**"Bingo so what did I do to deserve this call my beautiful boy..."**

**"Well for starters I got tickets to see APA in hairspray wanted if you'd be my date... and to warn you about two things..."**

**she picked up J.D.'s cigarettes and walked outside on to the little balcony outside their room she sat in the lounge chair in nothing but a white shirt that provided her barely any modesty and she lit up.**

**"and those things are..."**

**"we are doing a reunion tour with NSYNC and backstreet boys Larry's idea we all want you there."**

**"seeing Justin won't be a good thing."**

**"I thought you quit..."**

**"I'm trying shut up."**

**"Come you on have to come... you and are Janie our only ride or die chicks."**

**"That we are you know I'll be there with bells on and in my hoochie shorts cause I know how much your girlfriend hates them."**

**"Ha you do that... anyways I also called to tell you ash and tiff hit the skids... you know he will be calling you."**

**"Just because he calls doesn't mean I answer...he's not getting me back."**

**"I'll remember you said that...I thought going to his show would break the ice for you two so when we start the tour it won't be all tense. the shows to days form now."**

**"I'll be there... Love you Trev tell Kristin I say hi."**

**"I love you too tell the tattooed freak trying to capture your heart I say hi."**

**She laughed lightly. "I will bye butt hole."**

**"Bye big butt Bertha."**

**the truth was she had broken more than ice with Ashley. she'd broken her heart trying to love him. Ashley was only one ever to capture her heart, though J.D. had tried valiantly to do so. On some level she loved him for one she'd allow herself to love him it just wouldn't be today. she packed her things kissing J.D. goodbye. she headed for new york.**

**New york JFK airport**

**She turned when she heard his voice. "Ay mommy you look good."**

**"Erik Michael." she spun around hugging the puerto rican member of o-town**

**"what are you doing here I thought Trevor was picking me up?"**

**"He is he has a distraction of the stewardess persuasion."**

**"well either way I'm glad to see you... help me with my bags please."**

**"Sure so you're going on tour with us?"**

**"I am ... how are you doing without Miss storms?"**

**"Fine... we pick up Dan and Erin in Glendale and Jake and Janie in Nashville tomorrow and your first show is Monday night."**

**"how are you doing concerning the latest developments with Ashley?"**

**"Ashley and I are what we are I'm not analyzing it... he can't be faithful its not in his DNA. I"m not going there again if we have sex fine if not no skin off my nose."**

**Erik and Layla stood leaning against their hailed cab.**

**"Can we kill him?" Layla pleaded**

**"no we need him." Erik replied just as Trevor walked up.**

**"you have a death wish don't you penick?" Layla said hugging the caramel skinned man**

**"No i just like making you wait."**

**"well I'll save the killing for Kristin don't you have a girlfriend?"**

**"I just flirted."**

**"for twenty damn minutes..." Trevor took in Layla's appearance. skinny bleached out ripped up jeans and a doors tee and aviators sunglasses shielding her turquoise blue green eyes are dark black brown hair down in waves.**

**"get in the damn cab Trev."**

**after the hairspray show.**

**BACKSTAGE**

**Layla kissed Ashley companionably on the lips he was still clad in his link larkin attire.**

**"the Pompadour frightens me honey...is that all your hair... there is a mic in it... what have the done to you baby?" Layla asked**

**"yes its all my hair." he replied hugging her tight. **

**"well it should be consider a crime against humanity." just then a stage hand came up "you have some fans who want meet you angel."**

**"okay."the disentangled themselves Layla turned the sight she took in stole her breathe her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. the blonde next him was flirting shamelessly with Ashley and for once she couldn't care less.**

**"Leland Chapman and you are?**

**"Layla Kincaid... your date is flirting with my friend."**

**"that's not my date its my sister."**

**Ashley Leland and Lyssa to dinner. "So you do really well as link larkin..." Lyssa told Ashley**

**"Thank you I'm done for now though...I'm about to go on tour with my old group you should bring your sister to a show we'll be in Hawaii for one show."**

**Layla thought seeing Leland would be fun but decided to see what tomorrow held first hoping she hadn't made a mistake following Ashley around for old times sake she didn't want to fall into his trap again.**

**-/-**

**Chapter 3**

**Gyspy Lost**

**I'm a gypsy I live my life in highway miles not in years ... I love the intricate pieces of road life its not always easy but when the fucking wears thin Its the action of the road that keeps me here... i practically managed J.D. and I did a damn good job of it... Janie and I have always taken care of the boys while on the road this time is no different and our sleeping arrangements are no different either.**

**I held out longer than everyone thought I would a month to be exact...**

**Ashley carried Layla through the door her mile long legs wrapped around his waist. She grunted as her back made contact with the wall he had just slammed her into. **

"**uh there's a wall there Ash."**

"**sorry baby..." he muttered as his lips traveled down her throat and he tore at her t shirt trying to get it off. **

**Finally he pulled it over her head revealing a deep purple lacy bra. He groaned "that's cruel Layla god I've missed you." her nibbled the flesh that popped up out of its confines teasing him. Sex was always intense rough and desperate for the first time with them tenderness came later. He shoved up her skirt while pressing her against the wall to hold her weight. He ripped the matching underwear away from her body "screwing me against the wall is rock and roll cliché ." Layla whispered.**

"**I don't give a fuck." she reached for his belt buckle "Did you miss me or the sex? She inquired. He looked up from the shoulder he was currently lavishing his attention and looked into her jade like gaze "You I Missed you." she freed him of his pants and ripped open his button down shirt scraping her nails down his chest leaving little red trails in their wake. He entered her fast and hard causing a squeak of surprise.**

**She kissed him entwining her tongue with his his flavor unchanged and comforting. They were each other's addictions physically mentally and emotionally. **

**He slowed his strokes into her gentling the process he tore his lips from hers and began sucking a bruise on to the pulse point in her neck "ahhh... god damn I'll be the first to admit I missed this." she whispered to him. he was so deep inside that his pelvic bone rubbed her clit. He was adept at pushing her buttons and always got her there fast. as he ground her againist the wall hard she cried out as her body fought for release. "Uh uh stay with me..," he kissed her softly biting her bottom lip lightly. She tightened around him coming intensely milking of his seed. Her head fell forward onto his shoulder "fuck I owe Janie fifty bucks." Layla said with a light laugh. "shit they made a hundred bucks off of us I owe Jake fifty as well."**

"**ass holes... they know we have problems keeping our hands of each other... put me down."**

**a few weeks later**

**Layla had taken over a bunch of the tiny jobs that come with touring right now she had to go the the backstage pass people from the crowd. They were in Chicago tonight she knew Leland would be here with his younger sisters tonight. She flashed her pass and grabbed Brownie Ashley's guard and waded through the screaming teenage masses to the vips.**

**What Leland saw took his breath away she was wearing a low cut scoop necked red t shirt with girlish ruffles on the shoulders but the sweetness of the look was sexed up by a black lace push up bras showing of her cleavage. A diamond encrusted skull and cross bones graced her neck and tight black jeans encased a beautiful set of legs and black strappy loubatin's finished of the look look her hair was down but held away from her face by bobby pins it curled wildly around her shoulders. **

**She reached them out of breath and half deaf but smiling "OK guys follow me and grab a hold of each other so you don't lose one another... it always crazy before the shows so stay close to me for now...I believe all of the guys are doing a warm up just now so fallow me and you can watch."**

**inside Leland stood with Cecily and Lyssa watch all the groups practice there vocals fr the joint song at the end of the night.**

"**why are they singing in the mens room?" Cecily asked**

"**Better acoustics they can hear themselves better in here." Layla inquired**

"**weird... Oh my god Justin Timberlake!" **

"**Yeah he tends to hide I'll introduce you in a bit... how about a little amazing grace boys?" she tossed A.J. McLean a pitch pipe and then once they found their pitch they sang in perfect accapella harmonies like a choir. "Why does Jessica Beil look like she wants to rip you face off?" Leland whispered to Layla "Probably because I slept with her boyfriend... not recently of course but she still hates that I'm here for the whole tour and she can't put a chastity belt on him." he laughed lightly "the show fixing to start who needs honey or olive oil?" " I do ." Erik croaked. "dammit Erik I knew you sounded off did you listen to the doctor and do your vocal rest?" "he's fighting bronchitis he's gonna lose his voice if he's not careful..." Layla answered Lyssa's questioning look "No he didn't." Trevor tattled.**

"**ERIK MICHAEL ESTRADA!" Layla yelled "Here allow me." Janie underwood said standing next . She popped him upside the head. "your wife's mean Jake." Erik pouted. Layla turned into the next room grabbing the honey off the counter popping it into the microwave for a few seconds... Leland followed her "ow hot hot hot." she said tossing the bear shaped bottle between her hands. "why do they need that?" it coats there vocal cords."**

**she strode into the dressing room found Erik pouring the honey in his mouth as he was being miked up. "The shows about to start you might wanna get to your seat unless you guys wanna watch from here." **

"**the girls want to watch from the audience... but I'll stick with you." Leland said.**

"**OK." she moved to mike Ashley up, "arms up." handsome she took of his shirt as they touched up his hair and make up. She hooked up the mike to the back of his pants winding the cords along his chest taping it to his body . He put his shirt back on she clipped and taped the bud mike to his collar. She handed Ashley his inner ears and head set. The all ran to the stage. o-town was the opening act. Ashley lowered his head mike and kissed her "good luck I love you have fun." she said she and Janie did that with all five of them but she kissed only Ashley on the mouth. Liquid Dreams started and out they went. "do you really wanna watch the show?"**

"**No."**

"**Thank you lets go find a couch I need to set down my feet are killing me." they found a large red couch to set on. " so Leland why are you here?" "I wanted the opportunity to see you..."**

"**it's nice to see you again..."**

"**do you really like running around like a chicken with your head cut off?"**

"**yes I'm crazy I love the chaos."**

"**do you mind if I ask you something?"**

"**no go a head."**

"**what's the deal with you and Ashley my sister Lyssa really likes him they've been talking."**

**He's my ex we fuck around occasionally thats it... he can't be faithful just warn Lyssa OK she seems sweet but if he comes to me I may not turn him down... that's the thing about musicians they fuck around... as long as she divide the pop star from the guy and leave what happens the road separate they will be fine... I couldn't not then anyway..."**

"**He really did a number on you..."**

"**yep.." **

"**So you and Ashley aren't exclusive?"**

"**nope..."**

"**well.. you wanna go to dinner with me ?"**

"**Sure..."**

**later they had dinner and flirted all night when at her hotel room door kissing each other good night she thought she'd sleep with him just because she wanted too.**

**He broke the kiss."good night... Layla." he whispered. His lips dangerously close to hers. "you don't want to come in?" she kissed him again softly her lips clinging to his.**

"**not tonight..." he kissed her back his tongue teasing hers. He nipped her bottom lip as he broke the kiss. He released her from his possessive grasp. "no just kisses me good night." Layla said said slightly put out. She chilled slightly missing his body heat. "I just did."**

"**what I never see you again..." he had turned to leave he looked over his shoulder and replied "Oh I think you'll see me again." he said with a wink and left Layla in his dust.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I do not know Leland Chapman or anyone related with the show or any of the wwe employessor musical artist mentioned ! I mean no harm by anything this is just for fun! I own nothing but my stories and original characters. Enjoy! Please review. -Meghan**

**4: Tempted**

**I hate surprises I always have I would much rather plan things out and know what I'm getting into but today was to be different...**

**Layla heard hard knocks at her door she swung the door open excepting to see Ashley but there stood Leland in her door way and she was wearing nothing but a gray tank top and wine colored panties. "Oops sorry I thought you were ash I'll go put pants on. "No wait a second..." he took in her new appearance her long dark hair was dread locked with occasional bright blue highlights showing and a labret piercing in her lip. The spike jutting out just below her lip. "well come in I'll be right back." she game out of the bathroom in bleached out jeans.**

"**Not that I'm not happy to see you I am its just last we talked you didn't mention flying down."**

"**I wanted to surprise you plus we got time off and Lyssa wanted to see Ashley and my dad doesn't want her traveling alone so here I am... I like the dreads..."**

"**thanks Janie got bored on night..." "you didn't have the pirceing last time I saw you." "Nah I had it I just didn't have it in..." he stepped up kissing her softly. "There now I might be able to concentrate," "I'm not complaining you can do it again if you like." he kissed her again. "I'm happy to see you but I have plans today but you can come along if you want...I'm going to drive down to southern pines to get a tattoo from one of my buddies and I have tickets to see my friend Shane and his band johnny was. Wanna come?" "Sure..."**

**Layla walked into Gas Chamber Ink with Leland close behind her. "Shannon get your little A.D.D. Afflicted ass out here." Layla shouted and he emerged from the back. "Butt face! "He ran up hugging her tight "I've missed you...tour bus make the usual stop again?" "yeah... I'd like you to meet Leland..." "Leland... my surrogate big brother Shannon." "Nice to meet you..." Shannon shook is hand "you too." Leland replied "So what tat you want?" "stars wrapped around my wrist I want it it to start on the top of my thumb go down and completely around you can do whatever colors you want." "OK I'm just gonna draw it on." "Okay..." she got set down and Leland was looking around the bright purple shop. "you only bring them by if you like them... who are you traveling with now?"**

"**Ashley and the boys still." he looked up from his drawing on her wrist. "don't go there again..."**

"**aren't you kind of preaching to the choir shanny?" "Lena and I are different." "on what planet are you and Leen different than me Ash because last time I heard you can't even tell each other you are crazy in love with each other but still manage to fuck like rabbits in secret..."**

"**point taken... whats with newbie though..." we've been talking and haven't slept together."**

"**a rarity for you ..."**

"**yes in deed... I think he wants something I can't give anymore." she tucked a dread behind her ear. "yeah...whats that?""to be his girlfriend." "why can't you?" Leland said coming up behind her. "That part of me was broken a long time ago..." "Oh and sleeping with random men will fix it?" he replied. "Watch it..." Shannon said "you have no idea what your asking for?" "well even if I don't I don't mind waiting for it!" "I'll keep that in mind." "Can I show him your secret talent?" Shannon asked. "yeah why not?" somebody turn on the radio kill it after 15 seconds then change stations." heavy metal music played. "duality slipknot next..." "summer highlands billy Joel... I love that melody by the way... Merle haggard if we make it through December...come on give me a hard one... that last one is modest mouse..." "how do you do that?" she shrugged. " I like a lot of different stuff." **

**Shannon had started inking her when her best friend Lena walked she squealed "I can't get up the reject is busy causing me pain..." Lena walked over to her leaning down hugging her. The olive skinned red head was one the most beautiful women Leland had ever seen. She was prissy and you couldn't get more opposite than Shannon and not to mention the fact she was Jeff Hardy's ex so therefore only Layla knew their secret. "Who told I was home..." "a certain multi colored birdie." " I have tickets to see mister west and his band tonight wanna tag along?" "Sure... that tat is gonna be killer when th reject finishes it."**

**Leland took in her appearance in the doorway to her hotel room she wore a black plaid print minis shirt high heeled combat style boots and a shirt that said "I fucked your boyfriend." a jade colored scarf was wrapped around her dreads. She wore bright pink eyeshadow done cat eyes style and nude lips. **

"**ready..." she inquired.**

"**yeah..."**

**at club prey...**

**Lena walked up tossing her arms her friend. "I brought Shannon..." "ohhh very brave of you two... I'm gonna go backstage say hi to Shane you wanna come?'**

"**yeah."**

"**all right boys we'll be right back grab a beer... be nice Moore..." "I'm always nice..." "uh huh" they watched them walk away. "She's more fragile than she lets on you mess up or make her cry I rip your intestines out through your nose you got me." "you made yourself clear..." good..." he turned to the bar "two beers tequila on the rocks with lime and a vodka cranberry." "who drinks tequila straight?"**

"**Your girl..." Shannon replied **

**meanwhile...**

"**Shane I think it makes it less tough guy rocker If I put the eyeliner on for you." **

"**it always ends up crooked when I do it." fine come here..." she fixed his make up for him once she was finished she leaned into him wrapping her arms around him . "miss me?" he whispered into her neck kissing her pulse point lightly. "Maybe a little... hey watch it." she said as he grabbed her ass. "Have a good show I'll be so glad to listen to something other than bubble gum pop..." he laughed "finally had enough then huh?" "Just about i'm gonna go grab a seat!" she kissed him lightly untangling herself from and headed for the audience with Lena. Little did she know Leland saw the little exchange between her and Shane. She slid into the booth next him and kissed him when she received the cold shoulder she thought to herself he need to make up his mind. She tried to concentrate on the tequila burning down her throat rather than her hurt feelings. **

**Leland watched her bounce around to the punk music trying to figure her out . "you can stare at her all night and you'll be no closer to getting her... just go with the flow." Shane told him. " Leen careful you'll get stomped baby don't sit in floor." Shannon shouted to her going over a picking her up. "Lena's really drunk..." Layla muttered as she stumbled into Leland's arms. "So are you.." "only a little." she kissed him full on and deep in the middle of a mass of drunk moshers. He heard Shane sing out his cover of Tempted "there's a girl trying to steal my heart and I'm tempted even though she could tear it apart I'm tempted." he thought truer words had never been spoken as he sank down into her kiss.**

**He piggy backed her to her room. He sat her on her feet to open the door. She untucked his shirt trying to pull it off. "Okay now I'll admit it I'm drunk... but not so much that sex doesn't still sound fun." they stumbled through the door she kissed him hard soon the the upper half their clothes ended up on the floor. Hot kisses trailed down her throat and across her shoulders "we should stop your drunk..." Leland whispered "Your the one who's got me pressed against the wall branding me." "But if you wanna stop fine..." she shoved him away and out the door shirtless "next time you'll give in to temptation." she smiled laughed lightly then closed the door.**

**5: Poisoned Hearts**

**I felt him watching me as I glide through the water of the heated in door pool I lap back toward him. Flipping on my back I float toward him kicking water at him as he steps into the water "finally decide to make nicey nice with me huh?"**

"**Yeah... I've never met anyone like you Layla... you trip me up sometimes..."**

"**well your no cake walk for me either Chapman... no one has ever turned me down you'll go down in my history books for that alone." she stood up in the water. "Listen if your still up for it I'll try the monogamy thing... just be patient with me I'm rusty." **

"**I'm a patient man... you'll see." "well don't be to patient..." He toyed with the tie of her bikini top. "I never took you for a pink kinda girl..." what is it strawberry shortcake themed..." he kissed her neck moving to suck a bruise onto her clavicle "Janie bought it for me as a joke... I never anyone to see me in it." she said shakily as kisses fluttered down the other side of her neck softly. "I can take off for you..." she ran her hands up his wife beater pulling it off and tossing it pool side as untied her bikini top rubbing little circles on the back of her neck she sighed he eyes as his fingers trailed down her ribcage. Pulling away her top he walked her to the side of the pool as she kissed him her tongue teasing his as her hands roved down his back her nails tickling his spine causing goose bumps to erupt on his whole body he backed her up against the side of the pool before he hoisted her higher so could continue the exploration of her body with his mouth. As he kissed her breast something caught his eye. Just beneath her left breast along the curve the words " his kisses are poison his words are lies and its his melody you'll die by" where tattooed in her handwriting he wouldn't have seen it if he wasn't hold her in his palm. "For Ashley?" "to remind me not to be that girl again my friend Kat did it for me." "every poison has its antidote." he kissed her softly lifting her out of the carrying her over to a deck chair. He laid her down and she covered herself modestly. "your shy?" "you wanna see more than my body don't you..." "yeah I get just because your body with people it doesn't mean you share you heart." he walked over moving her hands away from her body he kissed her palms in turn. He sat down on the end of the lounge chair he leaned over kissing her fore head working his way down slowly lavishing kisses all over her torso leaving no spot untouched. The warmth of of his tongue as it made contact with her navel made her breath catch. She began slowly undoing his braid. He growled seductively against her belly as he slid her swim suit bottoms off . He caressed her clit with his thumb he positioned his face between her thighs as she slid further down the chair sighing at his touch. He beat his tongue on her clie relentlessly as he shoved his fingers into her keeping rough rhythm. She reached down loosening he his swim trunks and freeing his cock. it was a deep red as he took him in her palm as she rubbed lightly down he exhaled harshly Arianist her pussy the warmth of his breath heating her all over she squeezed roughly then loosely the pumped him up and down he fucked her hard with his hand as he continued to lap at her clit it soon become of who comes first and she lost their cries and grunts laid on the air. . Tingling all over her orgasm rolled over her with the force of a mack truck. "I usually last longer but it been awhile..." "really." he whispered kissed him softly liking tasting herself on him. He was hers for once she wasn't destined to share her man. He pushed in to her with soft shallow thrust. "I haven't slept with anyone since just before our first date...I just wanted you to know." she whispered nipping his jaw. he thrust in harder. "that was for months ago..." what can I say I liked your smile."**

**he laughed as she moved her hips to meet his thrust. "I'll smile more often then." he growled as their connection became more heated. The lounge chair started rocking back and creaking as they got rougher. "we are going to break the damn thing." she cried as he slammed into her driving her farther up the chair. "Yeah... fuck me baby..." she growled in his ear turning him on more. He loosened her grip on his hips shoving her thighs down on the chair he drew out almost completely thrust in deeply she cried it felt so good it was almost painful he battered into her again and again unceasingly. "Ahhhhhhhhh fuck I'm gonna cum." she yelled. Her head tossed back she came clenching around him tightly her whole body tensing as wave after wave of her orgasm washed over her he spilled himself int o her biting the exposed column of her neck. "damn your good Chapman." "well your no slouch you made my vision blur." "we need to leave before get caught but I don't think I can move..." she said smiling "me either give me five..."**

**the next morning**

**she had sent Leland down to get Shannon and Lena from the front desk. As they were all going to have a late lunch. She walked out of her hotel room to see Ashley leaving his room "hey ash..."**

"**your fucking him aren't you?"**

"**thats none of your business." Leland Lena and Shannon got out the elevator just then. "well I don't guess it matters he'll fuck till he gets his fill and toss you aside just like the rest then you'll be mine again ..." **

**I'll join a convent before I fuck you again..."**

**he laughed derisively. "we'll see."**

"**He know you're a coke head."**

"**Your the reason I am one... you sorry fuck... but I've been sober more than a year you know it."**

"**Oh so I shoved the coke straw up your nose..."**

"**you might as well have... ii didn't wanna felt my heart breaking into a million little pieces. You stole my dream away and gave it to her..." she sobbed screaming "he was supposed to be mine and you know it..." "every time I look at the kid I die a little inside... I can't breathe when tiffany touches you and don't even realize lyric might not be yours... he fucking has curly red hair and looks nothing like you.."**

"**your cruel..." 'yeah well you made me this way." they both finally noticed there surrounding realizing everyone had seen their argument. "shit..." Layla said as turned and ran Shannon in hot pursuit. Lena and Leland following him just as they made it outside she left in cab Shannon flagged another one down. "well Casanova... if you like her you'll get in the damn cab said as Lena gave an address." leland git in closing the door**

**6: Touchstone**

**Going home again they say you can't I try to avoid it at all cost... I know I have disappointed her and if he was alive he would be as well...**

"**welcome to Layla's childhood home." Shannon said as the cab pulled to a stop in front of a quaint looking house. Shannon got out of the cab leaving Lena and Leland to pay the cabby Shannon strode across the yard and jumped the fence into the backyard. "Come on let Shannon work his magic first I'll introduce you to her mama." Lena said.**

**Shannon looked up into the tree house he had helped her build when she was 12 being five years her senior most people would say there was no way a teenage boy would wanna hangout with a little girl much less spend his Saturday's building a tree house for a month and half. no one understood their relationship but he didn't care he loved her she was his baby sister and it killed him to see her in this kind of pain she sat on the floor of the structure with her legs drawn to her chest resting her chin on her knees he spied her setting there managing to look small in the tiny fort. **

"**You can't hide from me butt face I see you." he yelled up at her then moved to climb up taking a seat next to her. **

"**I was stupid to think my past could stop following me..."**

"**everyone thinks I'm a dirty whore..."**

**he grasped her chin between his thumb and fore finger jerking her gaze up. "I never want to hear you refer to yourself in that way ever again you hear me?"**

"**why Ashley is right I'm nothing more than a disposable lay to them... and the first guy I like in a really long time I manage to fuck it up... why in the hell do I let Ashley do this to me,,,"**

"**First off your not disposable to me or to anyone who loves you and your not disposable to him." he nodded to Leland standing below them "shit what do I say to him?"**

"**The truth that as much as those people used you you used them too to stuff your feelings down with sex that you felt powerless after your dad's death and Ashley messing up your dream on top of it sex was the only thing you had control of so you used it as defense mechanism and have for a very long time. As for Ashley tell him that you never wanted to give up on Ashley and that this tour was a last ditch effort to go back to what you were but meeting him changed what you wanted." Shannon said he pulled her in a hug kissing her temple "Now lets get outta this thing I'm starting to get claustrophobic..." Shannon said. **

"**Thank you..."**

"**For?"**

"**Being my touchstone..."**

"**anytime baby."**

**She climbed down and walked toward Leland. **

"**Listen I'm really sorry...I like you a lot and want to continue this but I understand if you don't want to after seeing mine and Ashley's little display earlier... I can't explain why I care anything about him but I do and I can't change it but I don't want him anymore I want to try with you if you are still willing ."**

"**I wouldn't be here If I didn't want you... and I want all of you..." he took a step closer looping his arm around her waist. "I want every pretty imperfect beautifully chaotic piece of you..." he pulled her tightly against him. "why?" "Because you are worth it." his lips crashed down on hers in a searing kiss. She kissed him back with such ferocity he lost his breath once he broke the kiss he searched her face looking at her intently. "god you are so completely... beautiful." he whispered in her ear his breath warm against her. The sincerity in his voice made her heart trip. She blushed slightly. "he looked into her jade colored eyes : "those eyes of yours are going to get me in trouble..."**

"**watch it she can you use them as weapons when she wants." Shannon said.**

"**i do not."**

"**do so..."**

"**maybe a little..." she allowed. Leland laughed."I'll remember that." "so where do we go from here?" how bout Hawaii? You can get a real job and Lyssa needs a room mate we can see how things go..."**

"**okay..." Lena walked out then "your mama want to know if you are staying for dinner?"**

"**you game?" she inquired of Leland.**

"**sure why not I like Josie... she makes killer German chocolate cake."**

"**On a first name basis with mama already you must of made quite the impression." "dessert before dinner how'd you break Mama Jo's rule?" Shannon inquired "I smiled." Leland said and Layla burst out laughing. As they walked in the house.**

**The next day**

**Layla came to the hotel to say good bye to everyone before they left Ashley avoided her which she was fine with, She hugged Trevor tightly. "I'm sorry dude I just can't do it anymore he wants to see me burn not love me..." "Its alright baby girl... I get it... you lasted longer than I thought you would..." he kissed her cheek. "you know what to do if you need us." "always..." Janie stood by crying. "Janes... please don't cry i'm going to talk to you everyday." she hugged her friend tight kissing her cheek. "keep me in the loop." "you bet." then she hugged Dan Erik and Jake. Ashley was busy saying bye to Lyssa and avoided her, they stood on the sidewalk as the bus pulled away. Lyssa looked teary. "do yourself a favor honey don't fall for him." Layla said.**

**two days later she was headed to paradise.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I do not know Leland Chapman or anyone related with the show or any of the wwe employessor musical artist mentioned ! I mean no harm by anything this is just for fun! I own nothing but my stories and original characters. Enjoy! Please review. -Meghan**

**7: The girl in the photo**

**Roots... I make it my business not to put any down but something about him makes me trust him...**

"**I think that's the last one." she said tossing a box on her bed that DL and Leland had already put together she'd found a sleigh bed in good condition at the flea market snapped it up shelling out big bucks for a good mattress. Leland reached over putting the box on the floor he laid on the bed pulling her down on top of him. "uh uh I have get started you can't distract me handsome..." "oh come on we need to test the mattress out." he pulled her down kissing her " OK it'll have to be a quick test..." she said against his lips. She kissed him back entwining her tongue with his. He broke the kiss pulling off her tank top revealing a bright magenta colored bra she we ran her hands up his tank top kissing his neck and throat she swiped her tongue across his Adam's apple. Eliciting a groan. **

"**ahem... dad needs you Leland" baby Lyssa said interrupting them. "now?" "that's what I'm assuming since he sent me in here." Lyssa said standing in doorway covering her eyes. Layla retrieved her shirt putting it back on ."OK we are decent you can uncover your eyes." Lyssa did "sorry guys..." "its cool your brother has a job to do but your staying right? "**

"**yeah I'll stay and help you unpack..." Lyssa stated.**

"**Okay thanks."**

**When Leland returned to the house they had set up all the furniture by the bay window was a blood red chaise lounge a black hope chest at the foot of the bed. A armoire made of old gray barn wood and copper in cased the TV. Facing the bed dominated one corner. A tiffany end table was on the left of the bed stacked hat boxes made the other end table. They had hung photos here and there all black and white they were currently trying to hang a life size picture of Layla laying on the stage across one of deep blue walls. "Here let me help you guys."**

**They got the picture hung. "who took all of these?" Leland asked**

"**I did..." Layla said shyly**

"**they're great baby... you really..."**

"**Capture people..." Lyssa finished for him. **

"**you know Layla theres a photography studio in town looking for photographers you should apply." Lyssa said,**

"**do you have a portfolio? Leland inquired he asked as he continued to look around art gallery mets gypsy pack rat like bedroom.**

" **took enough this tour to make one just have to edit and develop them."**

**after renting a dark room and developing and editing her photos she brought them home to let everyone help her choose which ones and which styles showed off her talents.**

"**okay guys here we go." she plopped thick file down on the coffee table she went and grabbed a beer herding DL Leland and Lyssa into the living room with Abby hot on her heels . She snatched a nacho of leland's plate stuffing it in her mouth then handed Abby one off his plate too. "Hey stop stealing my food!" "Whine less love its an unattractive trait in men." Layla said kissing his cheek. Soon they had divided the piles into different styles and were looking through them setting on the floor around the coffee table. **

"**Okay guys if you guys are in any shots you don't want me to use or want a copy just say so."**

**a few minutes later...**

"**this is beautiful..." Lyssa whispered. Turning the shot so they could see it. It was a black and white shot of Abby sleeping on her stomach with her head at the end of the blood red chaise lounge which she had left in color in stark contrast to the snow white I let lace sun dress her face serenely haloed by platinum blond locks**

"**do mind if I use it?" Layla asked**

"**No."**

"**OK thanks I'll make you a copy..." she swigged her beer.**

**next was a shot of Ashley looking out the bus window you could see Layla's face in the reflection of the glass and he looked back her by looking at the mirage like image... "how'd you get this one?" Leland asked "I set a timer trying to catch his reflection in the glass instead I got that..." "use it its good..." he took a sip of her beer. " what just because I can't stand the guy doesn't mean I can't appreciate art when I see it." he said answer Duane Lee's questioning look.**

**L whistled as he he came across one of Lena in nothing but black lace panties her hands tied above her head using ring ropes to bind her. Her long red hair covering her breasts her body greased up to reflect light as she a the wooden wall "Hello Lena..." DL said " "shit I thought that was on a different roll its Shannon's Christmas gift gimme it..." "didn't know you we're that kinda girl baby..." Leland said as he looked at the picture. " I'm the only one Lena trusted to take the damn thing give it here." there ere various other shots she decided to use. **

**Then she saw a photo of her in the middle of their last fight mascara tainted tears staining her face. She new Trevor had taken it without her knowing. Typically him intruding on such a private moment would of pissed her off but she knew he'd done it help her keep things straight... like a physical imprint of the pain they caused one another. She slid it out of view of the others. The phone rang and Lyssa jumped up to answer it. Everyone knowing full well who she was expecting. **

" **can Please at least tell you what to expect so you don't walk around like someone shot your puppy all the time." Layla said as Leland Duane lee looked between them nervously.**

"**yeah can't hurt." Lyssa said looking forlorn.**

"**I'm not gonna pull punches."**

"**wouldn't want you too.."**

"**if he says he's going to call he will... it just might be at four in the morning as he rides to the next town trying to fight off sleep as he talks to you... we were together five years we spent exactly one birthday 2 Christmases and one anniversary together... when you do see him your more likely to have sex in hotel rooms rather than your own bed. You never wake up with him or see him sleeping in the early light of day... he is a shameless cheat and he manages to make it your fault not his...and some how you still love him he's the kinda man who is really good with the lines I mean damn good...I like the time I told him he only loved the idea of me... he said it was the idea of me that kept him going... he used that one you yet babe? He's the type of man who didn't MEAN to knock her up he actually thought the pull out method would work. He won't even care enough about you to use condoms with whatever skanks he fucks. On top of everything else here the kicker he uses the engagement ring intended for you that he had your mother help pick out... you watch as he slips that ring on another woman's finger from your couch crumbling into a million little pieces and he doesn't even have the courtesy to call and tell you it will be on t.v. That the guy you want Lyssa you decide but if your not careful you'll end up like the girl in this photo. " she slid the shot Trevor had taken in front of Lyssa Layla got up and walked outside Leland hot on her heels.**

**8: Love Leads To Pain**

**I was mean I was cruel I was honest and even if he's mad I wouldn't take it back...**

**Layla stood on the front porch letting the sun warm her. She heard the door close behind her as she went to light up "ah I don't think so babe..." he said snatching the cigarette away. " I hate you." she said without venom. "I'm not taking a single word I said back because its all true the effect had and has on me sometimes and the way he treats women is deplorable for the most part and she needs to give him his walking papers fast and I'm not saying that as a jealous ex but as her friend."**

**I wouldn't expect you to nor do I want you too." said wrapping his arms around her shoulders hugging her tight to him. " you aren't getting rid of me so stop trying..." he kissed her dark silken hair. She had removed the dread locks when she moved to Hawaii.**

**Leland realized she used her appearance as defense mechanism. He was slow trying to peel back those layers in order to get to her heart.**

**He watched her keenly out of the corner of his eye. As sweat glistened on her body from their love making and her erratic breathing finally slowed.**

"**Okay I'm going to break a cardinal guy rule and talk after sex." he told her.**

"**think you could manage a cuddle too?" she lazily played with his long locks.**

"**Yes." he pulled her into his arms curling around her **

"**So what you wanna talk about?"**

"**anything everything I realized today I know all your big stuff and none of the little things that make you... you." she rolled to face him. "ask away."**

"**favorite song?"**

"**She talks to angels by the black crows."**

"**Favorite color?"**

"**Purple..."**

"**Favorite book?"**

"**The widow of the south by Robert hicks... my turn let me think... oh I know any hidden talents?"**

"**You mean other than that thing with the cherry stem?"**

**she laughed. "Yes other than that?" she dissolved into laughter again**

"**Oh my god woman you laugh like goofy..."**

"**I do not." shut up." she pouted "Anyways quit changing the subject..."**

"**I can draw Okay..."**

"**aw an artist and here I thought I was losing my touch."**

"**I'm not an artist..."**

"**Let me be the judge of that !" she hopped up taking the sheet with her walking out room. "Where are you going Abby's here!" he looked helplessly after her. She came back with a pad and pencil. "draw me." she tossed the stuff beside him on the bed. "can you hold still long enough?" "dude I sat on tour buses with nothing to do for hours at time sitting still won't be an issue." He got up to switch on a lamp. She popped his bare butt as he passed her. He sat down and adjusted the black bed sheet around her hips. He placed her hair so that it cascaded down her left shoulder. "now put your hands down... I've seen everything you've got darlin' "No one ever sees this..." she said putting her hands in her lap. "chin down...yeah there ... keep your eyes on me no laughing." "No I wouldn't want to harm your cute little ears with my goofy laugh." "how can someone so comfortable with their sexuality be so shy." he looked down making the first strokes on the page. "sex and intimacy are two different things." "I'll remember that. Did you love any of them besides Ashley?" "Liked cared for not loved..." She watched slightly scared at the intense gaze as his eyes journeyed her curves seemingly memorizing every tiny detail . "did any of them love you?"**

"**Shane... you are intense in absolutely everything you do. You know that?"**

"**am I?"**

"**you are... lucky for you I like intense men." smiled rubbing her thumb across one of the purple stars in an effort to self soothe. He was breaking down her walls slowly but surely he could feel it.**

**When she woke that morning he was gone but next to her lay the drawing it was beautiful somehow capturing more than she was. Below it she read "beauty is in the eye of the beholder I only hope one day you can see yourself as I do... Leland."**

**That one simple action was the kindest thing anyone outside of her family had done for her in a long while. She started to tear up trying to steel herself against the emotion. Her mantra came into play again...you can't love him loving only leads to pain.**

**They went to back to her home in north Carolina for thanksgiving. Leland and Lena where sick so they stayed home. As Layla and her boys partied...**

**Leland was beginning to feel the hot toddies Lena kept pumping him full of this had to be his fifth one. Between that and the Nyquil Layla had given him he was certifiably drunk.**

"**I can't believe they left us to party." Lena whined**

"**well she hasn't seen any of them for awhile and its not like we'd of had any fun"**

"**yeah but you don't get the Layla Shannon thing..."**

"**there is no thing trust me..."**

"**you continue living in dream land mi not stupid" she cried "Hey don't cry you are drunk and you don't feel good thats all this is?" when she kissed him he knew he shouldn't kiss her back but he couldn't stop himself that picture Layla took had remained stuck in his head...**

**Layla and Shannon sang loudly "ba ba Bennie and jets..." as the swerved and swayed through the door as they entered a silent house. Layla laughed "Be verwee verwee quiet i'm hunting a Weland"she gave Shannon her best elmer fudd. Shannon cackled drunkenly "weland thats cute..." she crept up the stairs and opened Shannon's bedroom door to awaken leen. What she saw literally made her sick she ran down the stairs to the bathroom Shannon frightened ran up the stairs quickly what he saw instantly sobered him. It was obvious Leland and Lena had sex in his bed and where still sleeping soundly. "Get out both of you out ." he roared/**

**Leland stumbled out into the walk way still half drunk. "dude I can explain we'll explain..." "stay away from her or I'll kill you." Shannon warned his calm unbelievably menacing. "Ashley is more decent than you thats just sad... Lena you best not even breathe near me for a while..." he finished when Layla came out on to the porch with Shannon looking as broken as Leland had ever seen her he wanted to die. **

"**Layla baby please I can fix this..." he cried**

"**no you can't Leland I'm done completely done... loving someone only leads to pain and I won't do it anymore..." sh turned with Shannon and went inside leaving Leland and Lena to pick up the pieces of the relationships they ruined**

**9: Messages from the edge**

**Sometimes you swallow your pride and hope for the best...**

**Leland walked up the door that was festooned with a cheery Christmas wreath and knocked. The door swung open to reveal his sister.**

"**Dude I should slam this door in your face just on principle but I won't she's not here she's working... you slept with Lena dude seriously how stupid can you be?"**

**He groaned "I know...I was drunk it didn't mean anything..."**

"**Oh don't bullshit me I'm your sister I've known you too long...the door is going to slam soon if you aren't honest with me I don't enjoy being lied to by the men I actually trust. You wanted to do it weather it meant anything doesn't matter to Layla on some level you wanted to fuck her best friend...and betraying her was just part of it. So, before you can sound even half way honest to Layla you need to reconcile what you did in your own head. That was a very dad like move Leland I'm disappointed in you."**

"**Lyssa I made a mistake please help me she won't talk to me."**

"**Big shock listen we are having a Christmas party next week be here."**

**Leland was nervous for the first time in along time as he approached her place. His sister let him in he nodded hello to her. Someone was playing silent night on a acoustic guitar he could smell cookies baking. He looked over seeing Shane West was the one playing the music. Shannon leaned against the wall eying him. She stood hugging Ashley from behind as they watched Lyric playing with Abby by the happily decorated Christmas tree. She whispered something to him kissed him between the shoulder blades. Lyssa seemed unfazed by it as Layla journeyed to the the kitchen. I followed.**

"**Hey." his voice shook her a little.**

"**what are you doing here?" she snapped icily.**

"**My sister invited me call it her good dead for the season." he shoved off the wall he was leaning agianist moving toward her she hastily put the tree shaped cookies on a serving dish. "Ow." in her haste she burned her wrist on the sheet pan. He quickly grabbed her arm running it under cold water. He ran his thumb soothingly across the angry red spot. "stupid." she growled. "I know and I'm sorry." " I meant me injuring myself..." she looked up into his eyes. "why?" she asked quietly. "It was a huge mistake and I make no excuses for it." he lazily perused face he forgot how breath taking she could be. her dark hair was a curly lions mane like concoction. Her eyes dusted with a glittery gold eyeshadow. she was trying to down play them today he knew. She nibbled nervously on her perfectly glossed bottom lip. "what do you want?" her lacy black dress distracted me with its deep v cut neckline. I longed to place my lips against her breast bone which was now rising and falling faster with her nerves. "I miss you." I say remembering my mission. "And I'm supposed to just come crawling back is that it?" "I can never trust Lena again someone I have been friends with since I was sixteen... but he-" he kissed her not able to take it anymore He kissed her long slow and soft drawing her to him tasting her his hands roving down her bare back.**

**She broke the kiss shoving away from him. "I don't like to be kissed when I'm angry ." no matter how good he looked in the deep green sweater he wore. "Mistletoe toe baby I couldn't help myself." he pointed to the offending plant she had helped Abby tape to the stove hood.**

"**figures..." she growled "its taking everything I have right now to not slap the snot out of you so back away some please."**

"**was she worth it ?"**

"**No."**

"**If you think all its going to take to get me back is to kiss me then you are sadly mistaken." she swept past him with the cookies he picked one up biting into it. "what did you say to Ashley earlier. "That he was a good daddy and not to worry, you know jealousy will definitely back fire on you with me." "I want us back in whatever way I can get you..."**

"**Fat chance!"**

"**I'm not giving up Layla."**

"**its your funeral."**

**they were in Denver now and he missed her like crazy they weren't officially back together yet but she was at least talking to him. Or so he thought. He called for the fortieth time and got no answer as soon as his plane landed back in the island he went straight to her house. His fear skyrocketed as Lyssa checked her voice mail from the passenger seat. Ashley's voice rang out. "Lyssa I got this really weird message from Layla today please have someone go check on her when you get this or I'll fly down something is really off and I'm scared!" **

**when they pulled up Shane was standing on the porch trying to break down the door. "what the fuck?" Lyssa said hopping out of the hummer she ran to the door "what are you doing here?" Lyssa said unlocking the door "Shannon and I both got freaky messages so sense I was in town I came to check on her." Shane ran for her bedroom. He found her laying their overdosed he kicked into action . "Layla baby come on what did you take baby please don't do this to me." Shane pleaded tearily as Leland stood frozen behind Lyssa in the door way. "call 911 Lyssa." he ordered he slapped her trying to wake her up. "Not like this Layla don't let it win." he kissed her softly "shes breathing but barely." he told Lyssa to relay to the 911 dispatcher. Leland finally knocked out of his reverie and he saw the remnants of a speed ball on her floor. Leland was on his knees he removed the turniket from around her arm. "baby why didn't you call me." he whispered. "who are you kidding you are the reason she did it..." Shane sniped. Shane played his voice mail on speaker "shaney don't worry about me I am just really tired and don't wanna do this anymore...Lena hates me... because I wanna take him back... but does he really want me? I mean he slept with Lena... anyways I just wanted to tell you thanks for loving me... i'm gonna go to sleep now." her voice was haunting as the sirens blared Leland prayed.**

**When she woke she saw Ashley with his head leaned on the mattress sleeping. Shannon was on her other side. "Hey sweet heart I tried to get rid of your harem but they wouldn't go...Shane's getting coffee Leland's calling your mom and J.D. Is cleaning out the gift shop. Me I think I'll just hold you hand." **

**tears sprang to her eyes realizing what she'd done. "Shannon I'm so sorry I didn't mean too."**

"**That's ok baby girl we'll just get right back up on that wagon you hear me?" she nodded. He kissed her forehead. "I'm going to tell the others you are awake I leave the honor of waking the pop tart to you," he was out the door in flash. She ran her hand through Ashley's blond locks. "Hey angel..." she whispered he came awake so fast it scared her. "Baby you're ok thank god." he jumped up kissing her firmly on the mouth. They heard Lyssa clear her throat. And looked over to see her and Leland in the doorway. "Sorry reflex..." Ashley said sheepishly. "You should go home and get some sleep ash I'm fine..."**

"**and work on those reflexes..." Lyssa joked pulling him from the room.**

"**As long as you know I Ain't going no where." Leland said taking her hand and taking Ashley's vacated seat. "You can stay." **

"**thats a start." he kissed the back of her hand. He watched her sleep more vowing to get her back and keep her.**

**Final: Shadows of You**

**A Year Later**

**Leland watched Layla get ready for work as he lay in bed. **

"**I still can't believe you can go from rocker chick to buttoned up business lady so easily."**

"**yeah it's a special talent of mine…" She smiled at him as she zipped her gray pencil skirt. Wearing only that a red bra and matching red heels Leland was tempted to pull her back into bed with him. Layla would have none of it as she slyly skirted his touch.**

"**Seen my top?" **

"**Which one? I hate seeing you all covered up." He traced one of the plumeria blossoms inked down her side in a scattered pattern with his finger tips. The dark purple ink in contrast to her tanned skin. **

"**oh my poor baby just picture me naked…Now the black silk button down where?"**

"**the back of the fainting couch Hun."**

"**thanks…" she turned up the radio as 1234 by the plain white T's played.**

"**I love this song."**

"**you Layla Kincaid the music snob loves this song yeah right…"**

"**it reminds me of you so shut up!"**

"**Sounds like something Ashley would of written…"**

**She buttoned her top. "Now whose the snob."**

"**Undo a button so I can see cleavage."**

"**GO AWAY!" **

"**Ok ok sheesh I'll be quiet."**

**She tossed her hair up in a French twist and put finishing touches on her make up.**

"**I like your hair down." Layla shot him a dirty look in the mirror. "I got get moving" she ran over and kissed him "make the bed when you get out please." She walked to the door. "Hey baby…" "What did I forget something "Just that I love you."**

"**Crap I'm sorry babe love you too."**

"**Take deep breaths…you'll get there in time."**

"**Its just with everything taking off I'm scared about the gallery showing and I still I have to move my stuff to your place and…"**

"**Layla honey breathe…" she took and deep breath and let it out "see better."**

"**I might be late tonight I have some much work in the dark room."**

"**I know… if its to late I'll bring you dinner."**

**She walked over to lyssa bedroom door. "Lyssa I'm out sister see you later." She yelled thorough the door**

**She passed Shannon sleeping on the couch. "Bye you need a hair cut dude and your ass better have moved by the time I get home." She ruffled his to long hair love ya Shanny." "Who does you boyfriend have hair longer than mine but I need a hair cut." The door slam was all got as a response**

**Leland heard classical music coming from the speakers of the studio sound system. He saw the red light on above the door to Layla dark room. He would lay out the food and let her continue. He knocked on the door to the dark room. "Baby dinner!"**

"**Five minutes I'll be right out." Layla put all her stuff away and exited the dark room. **

**Leland had laid out a picnic "Pizza and wine my kinda date…." **

"**anytime baby…"**

"**Thank you for being so patient with me lately…and supportive." she walked kissed him firmly on the mouth. "You took your hair down…" **

"**Time to relax." she opened the pizza box. "What's with classical stuff?" he asked as it switched to the way you make me feel by Michael Jackson. "That was Beethoven's suite number one played by yo yo ma. It relaxes me which I need considering the call I got today…" **

"**Which was about ?"**

"**CBS called they saw pieces of some photos I've taken of roadies…really gritty real look to things and they want me in Iraq as photographical correspondent capture the boys not the destruction…. But it would me upholding the rock show gallery and 18 months away from you."**

"**you forgot in a war zone…"**

"**That too!"**

"**you want it?"**

**She nodded **

"**Then do it…"**

**Layla was six months into her deployment. **

"**Tomas… turn around and smile at me bud!" the solider looked over his shoulder and smiled at her. "Go email you're boy chica we are about to leave on a mission and we need pretty face and photographical brilliance with us…"**

"**Ok I will see you in bit."**

"**Layla logged on her myspace…and hot Leland's myspace leaving him a message.**

**Hey Baby, **

**All is fine here can you believe I'm a third of the way done and will be home to see your handsome face in no time? I miss you! I also miss air-conditioning and would commit murder for an Ice cream cone it's a 120 degrees today makes Hawaii seem chilly! How is everyone? Tell Shanny and mom I'm fine Tell Kota I saw the soccer pictures and that I'm sorry I missed the game…tell cobie I saved him some Iraq sand and will bring it back to him…kiss Abby for me…I love you gotta go babe mission!**

"**Their rig was under fire when they stopped to pick up an Iraqi girl fleeing the fire fight Layla took off her bullet proof vest putting it on the girl… when the fighting stopped Layla stood up to get a full 360 view damage and…" Leland went numb and deaf. "No Shannon she can't be…she knows better than too…a sniper how…but- but if the fighting was over…please tell me you just misunderstood Josie man…"**

**Pulling up to the church where we will soon lay her to rest in the small cemeteries behind it. I feel lost broken unwhole like the light Layla carried into my life vanished taking with it all that I loved I can't feel anything but empty and I know the grief should be overwhelming but its like my soul is simply absent from my body… they asked me to speak of her and the love we shared but its all entangled and to deeply rooted to expose. So instead Shannon will speak.**

**He stands at the pulpit"Layla and I where quite an odd pair…and though no one ever believed us we'd never slept together…we knew to much about the other possessed to much of the other's soul to ever risk going there…and as she would say in her unrelentingly honest way that's just nasty Shannon !" he laughed choking up. "that's not… that's to say she wasn't one of the greatest loves of my life she was and always will be…Most of you knew her as a groupie you slept with a couple times and you think that's where she ends but your wrong her legacy is so much bigger than that...She was the girl who loved the cookie monster because he was obsessive like her…the teenager who dyed her whole head of hair purple just to see the look on her old man's face…She was a woman full of contradictions… give her a camera she could find the beauty and humanity in anything but herself! She truly loved her craft whether it be photographing a baby a rock star a family picnic or war zones … she'd do anything to get the shot including putting her life on the line and ultimately paying the highest price…she loved most of you though she'd never admit it not tough thick skinned Layla Kincaid… she was hardened to life but had tender heart she used her body as her canvas but hid her soul from the world she was quick to laugh and hated to cry… she loved deep and didn't have a hateful bone in her body… she was true in a world of liars she was my sister my best friend and love one and will be sorely and truly missed."**

**A month later…**

**Shannon , Josie and myself have decided to go forward with the gallery showing putting her Iraq And rock collections together in one show. When her body and belongings came back none of us had the emotional strength it took to develop the last roll of film in her camera. I cleaned out her room at lyssa's place last week. Touching the things I know she last touched smelling her scent when I opened her closet her flowery perfume still somehow clung to her clothes. I never knew you could pack all a person was in boxes…. But I'd done so leaving myself only minor mementos of us. So I wouldn't melt down into the useless grief that taunted haunted and followed me around like a hungry dog.**

**So Shannon I we're here to develop that last roll with the help of one of Layla's photographer friends and the notes Layla had written to herself about the way she wanted to develop and compose each picture with things like I love Leland and I miss Shanny and Leen rocks written in the margins of the notebook like some high schooler.**

**In the red tinted room we are surrounded by her last works the soldiers lively whole and their humanity showed through like a bright light weather they where playing cards teasing Layla with a funny face or helping a civilian Layla's mission was reached she was able to show the world who they where not what they did! I watch the color seep from Shannon and Layne's face as they stare at a photo in its bath… "What guys?" "Its nothing …" layne quickly said "Please tell me she's not dying in that photo Layne." Shannon said Layne remained quite I know I shouldn't walk over and look but I can't stop myself… she laying on arm outstretched facing the camera she looks almost peaceful as If she's sleeping as had seen so many times but for the blood splotch blooming grotesquely on her chest. I sink to the ground sobs choke me. "my baby…my Layla she died in the dirt in a country that hates us…" I sob. "And for what?" I scream "for a damn picture…" "She died doing what she loved. That's what I tell myself." Shannon said softly "That doesn't help me! She's still gone! That picture is her last moment on this earth and you are stone faced Shannon!" I screamed angry with him myself and her. "she shouldn't have gone ! We should've I should've told her no! if I had she'd still be here…I loved her damn it and it was our time ! It took me so long to convince her she was worthy of love and this is how it ends… its not right! Its not fair!" I get up running out of the studio into the warm sun and I walk because I can't think of anything else to do.**

**2 weeks later I stand outside the studio Layla rented … the words photography by Layla Kincaid shown tonight written on the window .**

**I walk in the music surprises me though it shouldn't vintage Layla not your typical classical music you expect at these things kings of Leon's ragoo is playing…I know that because what can I say Layla's rubbed off on me. Being surrounded by her photos is like being inside her head. The glitz and glam of the rock shots where in contrast to the dirty grit of the war shots you could almost feel the heat on your skin if you looked close or long enough. He saw one woman standing and staring at a photo of a particular solider. He walked over "Can I help you?" he asked thinking she was a buyer. "No, its just… this is the last known picture of my son Tomas… I heard a lot about miss Kincaid in his letters and emails I think he loved her though now I'll never know for sure…"**

"**You want the photo?"**

"**Its too expensive…"**

"**Just take it call it a gift from one man who loved her to another…"**

"**you where her guy?"**

"**I was yes…"**

"**Thank you for…"**

"**No problem … just tell that girl Leland said give you number 105 aloha."**

**Leland saw Lena looking at picture of her and Layla standing together on a giant speaker. Lena had tears in her eyes.**

"**Hey Leen…" he put his arms around her shoulders "I miss being called Leen you know? No one will call me that because she gave me the nickname everyone is afraid I'll cry…but its like we all live with the shadow of her and I can't see my way out of the pain…"**

**Josie walked over "it will get better we won't die from this I promise…"**

"**What if we want to?" Shannon asked wondering over "don't you dare Shannon Moore you three are all I have left."**

"**Sorry Mama Jo…"**

"**its ok just don't ever even think that again!"**

"**yes ma'am…"**

"**You know guys we are lucky in her not only did we have someone who loved us but someone we wanted to love… that's rare." Leland said**


End file.
